


The sun can fuck off.

by Ajade



Category: Marvel, X-Men, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Light Angst, Post Beach Divorce, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 05:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16804807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ajade/pseuds/Ajade
Summary: Humor with light angst, happening immediately after the beach divorce.Yes, 7 years later and I'm still not over it.(also, I wrote this last year at 3am so if it's a little ridiculous that's why lol)





	The sun can fuck off.

After today's events, he feels drained of all energy. His body is throbbing with pain, his legs feel as if filled with lead and his head seems three tons heavy. Man, he can't wait to get in bed.  
He opens the door to his room and immediately takes off his helmet, which is still warm from the sun, and throws it to one side of the room, refusing to look at it. He can't believe he's wearing it. Is he mad? Why did he even keep it? He contemplates just throwing it in the trash but decides to deal with it tomorrow. He looks around the room.  
After the whole "almost letting missiles hit Cuba, paralysing my best friend with a stray fucking bullet I deflected and leaving dramatically", Azazel teleported them to some small, dodgy motel right outside of Havana. The others complained and said that they should leave the country immediately, but he shot them all an angry glare and told them they could wait until tommorow. Until then, they can all get the five tons of sand they collectively acquired on the beach off of their bodies.  
He stepped into the small bathroom and almost instantly took off his suit, desperate to wash away all of today's events. Well, at least physically.  
After a thirty minute shower, taken with almost boiling water, he stepped out of the cabin and rejoiced in the feeling of the cold air against his hot skin. He cleaned the steamy mirror with his hand, wanting to take a good look at his face and take care of any possible cuts and/or bruises. And that's when he saw it. The massive, upside-down tan dick on his face.  
"What the fuck?!" he almost screamed.  
That fucking stupid helmet obstructed just the right parts of his face to make it possible for the sun to hit his skin in the shape of a penis. He was so angry his vision went red for a few seconds. A penis. On his face. Because of Sebastian fucking Shaw's ridiculos helmet, he now had male genitalia on his face. It's as if he was still mocking him even from beyond the grave. Perfect. Just perfect. After all of today, this was the cherry on top.  
He exited the bathroom, fighting the urge to break something. He could hear various metal objects creak, his powers making them bend and snap bacause of his anger. More specifically, because of a penis. On his face.  
He threw himself on the bed, buried his face in the pillow and laid there, wondering if this was really happening. Is he throwing a tantrum over some tan lines on his face? He's too tired for this.  
"The sun can fuck off," he managed to mumble into the pillow right before he fell asleep, thinking of Charles, his friend that he just abandoned on a beach, paralysed from the waist down, and the way he would whole-heartedly laugh at him if he could see him in that moment.


End file.
